Big baby that I am, I cried. I love the fact that our Lord is being celebrated in such an everyday place.
Today was the first work day in 11 years that I didn’t have a job to go to. If you don’t count that 6 months right after Boy Child was born, it has been 17 years. That’s right, Friday was my last day at my job. I won’t go into details, but it was the main reason I haven’t been in this space for awhile. This job was not the right place for me. It hasn’t been for 3 years, but I attempted to stick it out. Once I realized it was taking a tole not only on my family but my health as well, I bailed.
I’m not sure where my path will lead, but I am excited for the journey. I can’t wait to spend more time with Boy Child before he grows up. I know I’ll be working a little bit at my LYS. (I can’t wait to start that one.) I’ll be able to keep the house work under control and growing my sewing and knitting skills. I want to like to cook, so I also want to use this time to learn to enjoy it. I want to finally conquer the bread making skill.
I also want to be able to come back and spend more time in this space. I’ve finished a bunch of projects. I’ll give you a sneak peak tomorrow. Also, I’m headed to SAFF on Thursday. So, even though I don’t have an outside job, I’m busier than ever.
It has been a few days since my declaration of wanting to look for and pursue happier thoughts. ‘Cause you know, I live in my head most of the time; and I can say with complete certainty, I don’t want to live with such a Crabby McCrabby Pants. I’ve been consciously trying to see the good things (big and small) and trying to catch myself when I have negative thoughts.
I’ve noticed a few things in this little exploration. When I start my day off in prayer, I have I good day. When I hit my snooze button 5 times before jumping out of bed and speeding off to work without my prayer time, I have a really, really bad day. Now, I know rushing could be the cause, but I’m convinced it is the praying thing. When you spend 30 minutes first being thankful for all you have (including the job you really hate, but are grateful for because it keeps you in yarn) and then praying for all the people who are having tough times with death, illness and job loss; the tacky co-worker who takes personal time off at the most inconvenient times without asking if you had plans and leaves you with a mountain of her work to finish up on top of your own doesn’t seem too terribly important. See! Crabby McCrabby Pants! Sigh.
Mostly I’m doing okay with things. I’ve really fallen out of the habit of writing about what I’m experiencing, so forgive me while I get back into the groove of things. So, here are a few good things in a really frustrating/bad day:
- I heard about this video this morning. It made me smile.
- I made it to work on time even though I hit the snooze button 6 times.
- Whole Foods Strawberry Shortcake
- Project Runway starts tonight! Yea!
I know it has been a long time since I posted. I know that everyone who used to read this blog is probably long gone. However, for those of you who are left, I wanted to explain my absence. When I started this blog, I was in the grips of becoming a full-fledged Knitter. I was making the transformation from knitting as a cute little hobby to knitting as a character trait I use to describe myself. During this transformation, I discovered there were lots of people out there who loved knitting as much as I do. I thought having a blog would be a wonderful way to connect with these people. It became a fun way to share my passion. Let’s face it; there are few spouses out there who are willing to discuss the pros and cons of working in the round versus knitting flat. However, on the internet, there is ample opportunity! I was so excited to embark on this new world.
At first it was fun, but it soon became a chore. I didn’t really have anything to say, but I thought I “should.” (I hate that word by the way.) It started to feel like all I was doing was complaining. I didn’t want to be one of those people who see the negative in everything. And seeing as this is exactly how my nature trends to, I find it difficult to be positive in real life much less on a blog. I thought it would be better not to post than to continue a litany of rants and aggravations. So, I stopped posting for a little bit. That “little bit” turned into quite awhile.
Today I was reading another blog. She and her family have been having difficulties. Apparently, they are not life threatening in any way, but still difficulties nonetheless. She described it as “life.” I like that term. Life happens. Nobody’s life is perfect. Things happen. I started thinking about that one too. I seem to handle bigger life events better than little ones. Having a baby, geting divorced, getting married, moving – I think I handled all that like a champ. There was a beginning, a middle and an end to each of those events. Yes, there were strong feelings associated with each, but I knew where I was headed. (Though with Boy Child, I’m a little scared about where we are headed sometimes. Hee.)
Now that Hubby and I have settled into our lives and made it past the first little bit of figuring out how to live together, I am so happy. Boy child is in a really good school he likes. I love Hubby more everyday. I have a good job and even got a raise. Hubby has a good job. We have a lovely home. Yes, life happens, but things are great. Here is where the negativity tendencies in my personalities come into play. Without a major event happening in my life for me to focus on, I let “life” get me down. I let other people’s neuroses affect my own. I’m letting other people make me unhappy. How absurd is that?!?! I am letting myself be unhappy. Not anymore.
I want to make a change, and I think coming back to the blogosphere may help. I want to be able to see all the good things in my life. That is a little hard to do when all you can see is the frustration. If, however, I have to post about all my good fortune, I’ll have to look for it. So, that is my plan. I’m hoping that posting = seeing the good things in life. I’m crossing my fingers it will work. Can you cross your fingers, too?
I’m so sorry I have been away so long. Apparently, 2010 has had a big effect on me. I thought surely it would come last year when I turned 30. Nope. I flew right by that one without a backward glance. But, the new year came in while I was sleeping and knocked me upside the head. Ever since, I have been in thinking mode. You know, where do I want my life to go from here kind of thoughts. Once you get in that kind of contemplation, it is hard to keep focused on the really important things like blogging. I think I’m on the tail end of the major contemplation mode, so hopefully I’ll be back to regularly blogging soon.
Now, for the thanks portion of this post.
Thanks Mom for the creme brulee set. I made my first batch last Friday. I will say that I can never buy another dessert at a restaurant now I know how easy it is to make. I will say I was intimidated by the torch. I made Hubby fill it and turn it on the first time. So, I made up the custard part and took them and the torch up to the office (it was a belated Christmas gift to a co-worker). I fired up the torch and slowly began to move across the top. It quickly began to smoke. Now, this was not too bad, but I was standing directly under the sprinkler system! I was so sure the water would come rushing down & cause the building to evacuate. Luckily, everything was okay. Everyone was impressed that this was my first attempt. I confess, I was impressed with myself.
Thanks Helen-Joy for the wonderful patterns! They are GREAT! I can’t wait to try them out.
Suzanne, thanks for the wonderful Christmas gifts. The needle holder is perfect. Also, your stripe sweater is amazing! I am so envious of your knitting skills. Great car, too! Thanks for the lunch. Most importantly, thanks for being a great friend.
SG, thanks for being a knitter. It’s nice to have one in the family. Nana says you are very talented. I hope to see some creations soon.
Grandmama, thanks for having small feet. Your socks are almost done.
Thanks to Hubby and Boy Child. You were both very generous and thoughtful the past year. Love you!
Thanks pattern companies for finally realizing that people who make their own clothes still want to be fashionable.
Thanks to my group leaders at my church for continuing our classes this semester. This time we are working on prayer shawls in my knitting group and the second half of the New Testament in my morning class. I can’t wait to learn about Revelations.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me….
Twelve yummy tea bags,
Eleven hours baking,
Ten cookie tins,
Nine family visits,
Eight gifty cards,
Seven books to read,
Six leafy buttons,
Five Harry Potters,
Four hand made gifts,
Three rubber duckies,
Two hand knit sweaters,
And a baby who saved us all.
I received this several months ago and was prompted to hold onto it. For a while, I read it every day. I had a serious case of the “Why mes.” Everything seem to be coming down on me at once. This article helped me through it.
Today, I was thrown right back into that feeling. I’ve been sick the past several days. Today, I finally felt like I could muddle through work , though I still feel like poo. Once I got to work, I received an e-mail that gave me a full on panic attack. Which, I haven’t had in several years. Since the e-mail is of a personal nature, and I’m not comfortable with all the Internets knowing everything about me, I will simply say that the person who sent the e-mail is being, and has been for a while, disrespectful to me. I can not cut this person out of my life (again, personal circumstances); but really don’t want to continue to be disrespected all the time.
After raging for a bit, I replied in what I thought was a neutral but firm e-mail that stated if the disrespect continued the situation would go down hill quick. Knowing this person, I have a feeling it will head that way soon. I just have to pray for this person to realize that there are other people in this world and read this article and hope it takes root in my heart.
He hurried down the concourse to catch an important connecting flight. As he arrived at the gate, he noticed that the door was closed and the airplane was just pulling away. Looking at his watch, he stepped up to the counter and said, “I don’t understand. The airplane is leaving eight minutes early. I really needed to be on that flight.”
The representative replied, “Yes, unfortunately the airplane left early, and I am sorry but we cannot call it back.” After making arrangements to be included on the next flight, the pastor sat down to wait. A little while later, the representative, who had been watching him closely, came over and asked, “Why are you so pleasant? I expected that you would get angry after what happened.”
The pastor explained, “I belong to God. He controls all things. If He wanted me on that airplane, He would have kept it here until it was originally scheduled to depart. I know that since He didn’t allow me to catch that flight, He must have something better for me, and for that I am grateful.” This pastor passed an important test to get more of God’s power:
“In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you” (I Thessalonians 5:18).
How can we prepare to “pass the tests” that God gives us? One of the most important ways is to develop a thankful heart that recognizes and accepts His sovereignty in our lives.
There are at least four good reasons why we should give thanks for whatever God allows to happen in our lives. First of all, God is in control of all things. Nothing happens without His awareness and permission, not even the falling of one sparrow. Therefore, we can be sure that God is fully aware of everything that happens to us. (See Matthew 10:29–31.)
Second, if we love the Lord and are committed to doing His will, then we can be confident that what He allows to happen will be for our ultimate good. (See Romans 8:28.)
Third, one of the highest purposes for which God allows difficulties in our lives is to conform us to the image of the Lord Jesus Christ. As we learn to respond as Christ would to whatever situations we face, we develop His characteristics, including patience, endurance, compassion, discernment, wisdom, humility, self-control, and many other important qualities. (See Hebrews 12:5–11 and Romans 8:29.)
Fourth, God wants to teach us His ways, which are higher than our ways, and His thoughts, which are higher than our thoughts. (See Isaiah 55:9.) By humbling ourselves and thanking God for whatever He allows us to experience, we will demonstrate meekness, which is strength under control. Scripture promises, “The meek will he guide in judgment: and the meek will he teach his way” (Psalm 25:9).
When we rejoice in tribulation, we gain patience, experience, hope, and love, which come by the power of the Holy Spirit. (See Romans 5:3–5.)
This pastor thanked God for allowing Him to miss his airplane, because he knew it was the right thing to do. However, he later had more reasons to be thankful when he learned that the airplane he missed had tragically crashed.
If we want to experience more of the power of the Holy Spirit, we must begin by fully surrendering ourselves to His control and exhibiting a grateful attitude for whatever He allows in our lives.
I have always believed that most often, emotions are a choice. I think you choose how you react to any given situation. Yes, yes, I know there are times when we all react without thinking. However, I will argue that you can change that initial reaction if you really, really want. It’s a habit. You just need to want it bad enough to make the change. People who quit smoking learn to live without the cigarettes. I contend that we I can learn to react to stressful situations in a calm and thoughtful manner.
There has been entirely too much negativity in my life lately. I take responsibility for this. (Note: I do not take responsibility for all the people and their stupid, mean, spiteful behavior.) I take responsibility for my negative behavior in reacting to people and situations. Last night, after a very stressful and frustrating day, I decided that I don’t have very much time with my family; and I refuse to taint that time with a bad attitude. I strapped on my running shoes and hopped on the treadmill. I told myself that when I was done, I was not going to be angry anymore. And, I wasn’t. I liked how I was able to push all of it aside.
Today, I got to thinking. I want to be better at seeing the good and beautiful things before I see the bad and negative. So, in that spirit, I want to share some of the beautiful and happy things I’ve seen today.
- A friend’s laugh at lunch.
- The yellow and green tree reflected in my office building’s windows.
- The shadow of a cloud on the hills.
- A quick rainbow that appears in the water splashing up from the road as the car in front of me drives through a puddle.
- The golden leaves that swirl around as the wind blows.
- iPod Touch – ’nuff said.
- Internet shopping.
- Fuji Apple Chicken Salad.
- Friends on dvd.
- The theme song to Scrubs.